everyday wonderings

My college roommate and I used to begin conversations with the phrase: ‘Wanna hear a funny thing?’ and then we’d proceed to share some normal, obvious every day observance that, when thought about deeper or said out loud as a standalone thought, became flat out hilarious to us. Usually, this would begin a spiral of ridiculous thoughts and we’d end cry laughing about nothing. Somehow as naive 20-year-olds, this was our way of curiously observing and growing into the world around us. Wondering about things we’d never thought about before.

All these years later, I still spend a lot of time wondering…

Wondering about the future and about the past. 

Wondering about God.

Wondering about details left off the page in the Bible. 

Wondering what could have been different or why it is the way it is.

Wondering why I am the way I am.

I’m sure we all do this (or its possible you’re like, uh you’re a psyco and I accept that too)

but to set up this little blog space… I’m creating it as a spot for me to share what I’m wondering about. You may not agree. You may think it’s dumb or obvious or it might be incorrect. So then I welcome your wonderings. But I long for it to be a place of curiosity. Where I can share God’s beauty, goodness and truth as I experience it around me with overflowing grace.

One thing I know is that I’ve spent too much time wondering if I’m wrong or if that’s a dumb question or if these words make me sound stupid or if I’ll ever be good enough. Those are the thoughts that keep me silent. Those wonderings only continue the loud spiral of lies in my head and starting this little space is me actively telling the lies, they’re wrong. 

Because of Jesus,

I do have something to say and I will write out those words here.

It’s not about publishing a book or having the most profound, life-changing thing to say- I’m learning that the only life I can change is my own. So, I guess I’m letting you into the process of growth in my heart as I write, question and learn.

I’m praying over every word I share here, asking the Lord to guide what He wants me to write. Definitely not getting it right every time and being ok with that reality (ooh this one is so hard for me and is the thing that has kept me from obeying for too many years). 

If you’re reading this, you’re probably one of my dear, patient friends who has gently listened and watched me hide in fear from this little tug on my heart for longer than I want to admit. Thank you for holding space for me to process as slow as a turtle and for cheering my feet across the starting line in obedience.

Ready, set, GO.

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.”

Psalm 19:14